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  An Ode to Castro County
April 2, 2013

Journalist by day and North and East Poet Laureate by night, Janis Mara was inspired to pen this pithy poem heralding Castro County. Perhaps she has ambitions to become the first poet laureate of Castro County and wishes to establish her bona fides before the competition.

Long live Castro County!
We're going to secede.
We'll soon be self-sufficient;
We have everything we need.

Pup Hut, lost mutts, fix our ferals, Christmas carols
Safety Patrol, save your soul, Solano Playlot, that's a helluva lot
Thrift stores, Macklemore, Jovanka Beckles, Corky heckles,
Mayor Gayle, shall not fail, dozens deBates, seal your fate.

Chevron refinery, gas for you and me, sure wish they'd pay their tax on property.
Lawrence Berkeley National Labs, no parking meters, hardly any cabs
Richmond BART, wins your heart, community policing, no more fleecing,
Best chief around, bringing crime down, got a reputation, all around the nation.

Richmond Trees, blowing in the breeze, streets nice and wide, on the right side.
Lots of spirituality, churches here for you and me, new City Hall open to all.
Snow Ball, Hilltop Mall, Interactive Resources, park rangers on horses,
Tapatia, Portomex, hope the ducks practice safe sex.

Richmond Kaiser, city's getting wiser, Richmond BUILD and solar too,
Craneway rocks, City Council shocks, Rosie the Riveter knocks off your socks.
OK there's still crime, but we also have Tom Butt,
and that's why we're seceding, Jane, you ignorant slut.

Not wanting to offend anyone, particularly any  constituent named “Jane,” I inquired as to the identity of the apparently defamed Jane. Another North and East resident enlightened me as follows:

"Jane, you ignorant slut" is a line taken from  a parody featured on the original Saturday Night Live show performed by Jane Curtin and Dan Ackroyd. It was a satire of a TV talk show program called "Point – Counterpoint.”

Cross checking with Wikipedia, I found the following:
Jane Curtin (1976–1980)
Jane Curtin anchored Weekend Update from 1976 to 1980.
Jane Curtin substituted for Chase during Season 2 for a few shows due to Chase's injury and replaced him when he left in 1976 and stayed as anchor until the end of Season 5 in 1980. Curtin finished Season 2 solo, but was then paired with co-anchors Dan Aykroyd (1977–1978) and Bill Murray (1978–1980), with Aykroyd being promoted to "Station Manager" in September 1978.
A frequent feature of Update during this time was "Point/Counterpoint", a send-up of the then-current 60 Minutes segment of the same name with James J. Kilpatrick and Shana Alexander. SNL's version of "Point/Counterpoint" featured Curtin and Aykroyd making ad hominem attacks on each other's positions on a variety of topics. Aykroyd regularly began his reply with "Jane, you ignorant slut", which became another of the many SNL catch phrases (Curtin frequently began her reply with "Dan, you pompous ass").
Other popular running features were John Belushi giving editorials that usually ended with him working himself into a frenzy and stating "But Noooooo...." When Curtin would try to calm him down, Belushi would promptly raise a fist at her and scream, "DON'T PUSH ME, CURTIN!" Also included was Gilda Radner's character Emily Litella (later Roseanne Roseannadanna). Radner's Litella character was apt to misinterpreting topics (leading her to present editorials on such things as the Eagle Rights Amendment) and not being aware of her error until Curtin would correct her, at which promptly, Litella would cheerfully say, "Never mind." During Curtin's tenure as host, she opened each Weekend Update segment with Roger Grimsby's "Here now the news" sign-on, and closed with Chase's "That's the news. Goodnight and have a pleasant tomorrow".